This Is Not Goodbye

When I started this blog eighteen months ago I also began following a blogger who quickly became one of my favorites.  He wrote insightful, eloquent pieces that conveyed messages that have stayed with me.  He opened my mind to new viewpoints and invited me to question how I interact with people.

I was more than a little surprised when he decided to step away from his blog six months later.  As a new blogger I could not understand why a popular blogger with thousands of followers would (gasp!) stop blogging.  He was confident, though, that the time had come.  He felt as if he was on the verge of something, even if he could not yet articulate what it was.

I wished him well, told him I was thankful that our paths had crossed, and applauded him for knowing when to move on.  He told me that he felt I would know, too, when it would be my turn to move on.  I believe he foresaw this moment long before I could even imagine it.

I understand now his inkling of being “on the verge”.  I have been feeling for the past several weeks that this life, already a good, good life, is about to become amazing.  I have no idea what is coming, or where it is coming from, but I am ready to receive it with arms wide open.

I have renewed my dedication to making my body and my soul as healthy as possible through exercise, healthy eating, and positive interactions.  This feels like an essential piece of whatever this new journey may be.  I am also forcing my introverted self out the door and into face-to-face connections. I find myself overwhelmed with the need to be out in the world, to be of it, searching for signs of what is to come next.  All of which is leading to less time spent online.

While this is not a goodbye, I do feel the need to share with you the reasons for my periods of absence and the infrequency of my postings.  I owe you all that for the simple fact that you have taken time in your life to be a part of mine.  Believe me when I tell you that your presence here has made a lasting impact on my life.  It is due in no small part to your support and encouragement that I have the courage to take these next steps.

I have no idea how long my blogging hiatus will last.  I may feel compelled to write a post tomorrow, next week, or next month.  I do know that I will continue to write, be it here or elsewhere.  This blogging experience has reminded me that I need to write much as I need to breathe (a feeling I am sure many of you share).  I intend to take the plunge and start submitting pieces for possible publication.  Again, I would not have contemplated such a step without the feedback I have received here.

I follow over 400 blogs here on WordPress and other sites.  I will continue to be here, reading and commenting on your posts.  You are all an essential part of my journey.  I thank you for simply being a part of my life and for choosing to spend even one minute of your time here.  I have been blessed to make the most amazing connections and friendships through this blog.  I hope that you will stick around!

Wherever you go, whatever path you choose to walk, please remember to walk it with love and kindness in your heart.  Be amazed, look for the magic, wonder at the miracles, and opt for happiness.  Above all, be grateful, always and in all ways.  Cheers! Karen

Sunday Smiles – In Love with Love

At the risk of being a buzzkill on this day of hearts and roses, I must admit that I do not celebrate Valentine’s Day.  For this I have my husband’s eternal gratitude as he can go about his business each February while ignoring the barrage of commercials telling him what an absolute spousal failure he will be if he does not buy me this exact diamond pendant or that specific dangly charm bracelet.  No, there are no special dinner reservations or floral deliveries headed my way today, and I am all in favor of that.

Since I’m in a disclosure kind of mood I may as well admit that I do not like romantic comedies or romance novels either.  I understand they can serve as escapist guilty pleasures, but I have to say for the most part they leave me feeling unfulfilled.  I do not like the way they set men, and women for that matter, up to fall short in real life of the great romantic feats and gestures of the cinema.

By now I’ve probably convinced you that I should head up the local chapter of the new Love Haters Club.  I promise you this is not the case.  In reality I am in love with love.  I just happen to be in love with the kind of love that happens, well, in reality.

It’s Not All Cookies and Cocoa (Holidays Can Be Hard)

It’s Christmas Eve!  We have reached a fever pitch of anticipation!  The trees are trimmed, the cookies are baked, and the gifts are all wrapped.  The turkey is thawed and ready to be stuffed.  The stockings are hung by the chimney (and if you are in the midst of the hot spell and running the air conditioning there is no chance of them being burned by the fire).  The only thing left to do is to await the arrival of the big, jolly man and his sleigh.  We are all feeling cheerful, festive, and excited!  Except if we aren’t…

Wait, what is that you say?  It’s Christmastime!  We are supposed to be filled with the joy & love of the season!  We are expected to be happy, happy, happy!  But what if that isn’t always the case?

The fact is that the holidays are not easy for some people. There are those who would prefer that the month of December quietly pass them by.  The reality is that there are people who struggle during the Christmas season, and we need to be mindful of their feelings.

I have friends who have lost loved ones within the past few weeks and months.  This is the first year they will be “celebrating” without a mother, a father, a sister, a brother, or a friend.  I know people who are caring for family members who are gravely, critically ill.  They will spend Christmas Eve spoon-feeding soup and medicine, offering sponge baths, and praying to their higher power for a pain free night for a cherished soul.

There are people who have been disappointed by those who should be closest to them. There are others who have been stressed to the breaking point by demanding, pushy family members who do not know, or do not care, when they are asking for too much. There are those who are so lonely that they would do anything to have some of those pushy people fighting for their attention.  There are some who are gasping for breath under the crushing weight of depression.

Yes, buried beneath the glow of the bright lights, silenced by the sounds of the nonstop Christmas music on the radio, you will find them if you only look.  They are the newly divorced, spending Christmas Eve alone with a freshly broken heart while their ex has the house full of kids.  They are the spouses of law enforcement and military personnel, resigned to yet another holiday making sure things are just right for the kids while trying not to wonder if their loved ones will make it home for next year’s festivities. They are the parents desperate to provide gifts not of cellphones and laptops, but merely a new doll or a toy firetruck.  They are the recently widowed, or the children who have lost a parent, gazing up to the heavens and trying to understand why.

We need to acknowledge and accept that there are people who simply prefer not to celebrate, or to do so in a low-key fashion.  We must understand that they are trying to maintain a facade of cheerfulness while inside they are coming apart.  We cannot trivialize their feelings by telling them to, “Cheer up!” or by admonishing them to, “Stop acting like a Scrooge!”

If we truly do keep Christmas in our hearts all year long then we must be sure to keep it in our hearts during the month of December.  Let us give those who are struggling the gift of our patience.  Let us bestow the present of love upon those who are suffering. Let us understand if they wish only to go to church to light a candle and reflect in solitude rather than accepting our invitation to a raucous Christmas party.  Let us be available without demand, and let us let them do what feels right for them.  Let us know that they do not wish to in any way diminish or minimize our celebrations by taking a more subdued approach to the season.

I am thankful not to be one who has lost a loved one.  I am grateful that my family and friends are healthy and happy.  I am, however, one who has had her Christmas spirit kicked around this year.  I am one of the ones who was disappointed by some while being pushed over the edge by others.   I do not cry often, but I have been reduced to tears more than once over the past few weeks, causing me to retreat and regroup.  I tell you this not to ask for any sympathy, as life presents us all with tough times.  I tell you this because it has helped me to have a greater understanding for what people do struggle with this time of year.  It has led me to a place where I get that the best some can do is to spend a quiet Christmas Eve at home, eating tacos and watching Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.  (Yes, this is our grand plan for Christmas Eve, and I am looking forward to a quiet night remembering who and what matters the most.)

Whatever holiday you celebrate, and however you choose to celebrate it, I wish for you an abundance of peace and love.  If you are one for whom this post resonates know that I hold you in a special place in my heart this year.  If you know someone for whom this post may resonate I ask that you offer them an extra dose of comfort and encouragement over the next few days.

Thank-full

My car has a full tank of gas.  It isn’t the latest model, but it gets me where I’m going.

Our pantry is full of food.  It isn’t always as healthy as it should be, but we never go hungry.

Our closets are full of clothes and shoes.  We don’t have any designer couture, but we are warm and comfortable.

We are far from wealthy, but we have enough to spare and enough to share.  My heart is full of thanks that we are in a position to help others.

My gratitude for the amazing people in my life is boundless.  These people have given me a life full of laughter and love.

My glass is full.  I am thankful that I have learned to fill it myself.  I am grateful to the universe for helping me to choose happy.

Yes, I am thankful, and I am thank-full.  From my little space here at Fill Your Own Glass, I wish you & yours a Happy Thanksgiving! Believe, and be love!  Cheers! Karen

Photo credit:  www.pixabay.com

When the World Makes Me Weary

I think it happens to all of us from time to time.  The world comes rushing at us, jabbing us with vicious punches of violence and hatred.  The clamor and outcries climb toward their shattering crescendo.  The feeling of all the feels becomes overwhelming.  The noise goes from grating to unbearable in sixty seconds flat.  Our internal alarms sound, and we know we must seek shelter in our safe places.

This week has been a test for me, and, Im sure, for many of you as well.  The news of the horrid, cowardly attacks in Paris have left us reeling, and they have left us feeling.  The thought of possible pending attacks has left us edgy and guarded.  I have run the spectrum of emotions from sadness, to anger, to hopelessness, and back to hope again.

In addition to the news of the terrorist attacks we have the ongoing onslaught of political debate that will ride our backs until next November.  Social media has become a perilous place laced with opinions and anger.  Oh, how I long for the days when my newsfeed was overrun with pictures of friends’ ridiculously cute little ones doing all manner of ridiculously cute things.

Off internet, I have friends who are struggling through difficult days.  Friends who have lost loved ones or are watching as their loved ones deteriorate.  I want to pull them all into a collective hug so tight it will squeeze the pain away.  If I could chose one superpower it would be to have the ability to heal.

When you are an empath, or even if you have empathetic tendencies, your life is directly and seriously impacted by the feelings of those around you.  You feel others’ emotions as deeply as you feel your own, and your energy is affected by the things that surround you.  You can imagine the sensory overload that can result, and you can see why it leads to a bone-deep fatigue.

It is difficult, at times such as these, to maintain a positive outlook.  It would be far easier to revert back to one’s prior negative tendencies.  Allowing that to happen, though, would be allowing the wrong people and the wrong things to win.  And so we find ways to fight back, to climb out of the darkness, and to continue to look for the good.

When the world makes me weary, I look to each of you.  I pause to think of the amazing traits that you possess that led me to welcome you into my circle.  I recall the pure and kind acts that I have witnessed you perform.  I remember your words – words that changed a day, a week, a life.  I feel the warmth and the safety that radiates from each of you, and I am enveloped by love and compassion.

When the world makes me weary, it is each of you who restores my energy.  It is you who guides me back toward the light and drives me to continue to encourage and motivate those around me.  It is each of you using your collective superpowers to heal a damaged should.  It is you who makes me whole again.

The Most Important Job

I am an insurance agent.  You are a writer.  She is a physical therapist.  He is a stay-at-home dad.

We have jobs to perform.  We have careers to build.  We have schedules to adhere to and meetings to attend.  We meet deadlines, make appointments, and multitask our way through the days.

We navigate the hustle and bustle of society.  We ride out the ebbs and flows of the economic system.  We create trends, and then we buck them in favor of the next latest, greatest thing.

Some struggle to wade through the mundane hours of their workday.  Others strive to climb the ladder and achieve new heights of career elevation.  The luckiest of us grab ahold of that thing that sparks our passion and find a way to make both a living and a life with it.

We make products and sell ideas.  We analyze data and seek ways to make the graphs move in the right direction.  We offer our art and our talent to the world.  We create, teach, and serve.  We provide customer service support, financial advice, and care.

We hold various positions and titles.  We run the gamut from entry-level clerks to sous chefs to CEOs.  We each offer a service that allows society to function as it does.  Yet we collectively, as humans, have a far more important job that we cannot ignore and must not neglect.

We need to remember, as we start each new day, what our primary purpose truly is.  What is, in fact, the very reason for our being.  It has little to do with earning a paycheck.  It has everything to do with love.

The single greatest job we can aspire to is to love the people who surround us.  It is, I believe, our responsibly, our duty, and our destiny.  We can offer nothing better to one another than the love within our hearts.  Live a legacy of love that you may leave a legacy of love.

A moment spent comforting a wounded soul is worth more than countless hours in a boardroom.  A day of fishing and hiking with your children trumps the highest salary.  A romantic getaway strengthening a relationship.  A weekend laughing with friends and making memories.  These are the best ways to build a “resume”.

Love like it is the most important job you will ever have…because it is.

Photo credit:  www.pixabay.com

What Is the Point of a Life if Not to Live It?

A man has a medical scare that lands him in the hospital for several days.  He pulls through, and he is discharged.  He is sent home with some dietary restrictions and a timetable for resuming different daily activities such as driving, exercising, and lifting heavy objects.  He has received that most frightening wake up call, and he realizes that he needs to make changes.

He now understands that he must practice moderation.  He knows that the previous years’ excesses have brought him to this place.  He is willing to cut back on the unhealthy foods and increase his fitness level.

His loved ones, with all of the best intentions, prefer elimination to moderation.  No, you cannot drink that.  No, you cannot eat that.  No, you cannot do that.  No, no, no!  Be careful with this.  Watch out for that.  Careful, careful, careful!  They mean well, and they want him to stick around for a long time to come.

He lives, yet his life has changed.  It is now full of cannots and cautions.  He begins to wonder if this is what he survived for.  Is this why he was given another chance?  What is the point of a life if not to live it?  Is he living, or is he merely existing?

I look at this man, and I am sad for him.  I want him to be healthy, but one must be happy in order to be truly healthy.  He needs to change his diet and exercise habits to be sure, but he should not be deprived of the occasional treat.  He should not be forced to spend his days strapped into an invisible safety harness.  There has to be an acceptable balance that allows him to continue to live his life, not just to survive.

A young woman is diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer.  She undergoes what is known as the “Mother of All Surgeries” (MOAS), and she endures a slow, painful recovery that lasts for more than a year.  She winds up minus a few body parts and with permanent damage to others.  Things are touch and go for a long time.  There are numerous repeat admissions to hospitals, tests after tests, and treatments upon treatments.

Today, she lives.  And when I tell you that she lives, I mean she lives.  She embraces life.  She devours it.  She throws herself into it with beautiful abandon.  She appreciates every extra minute that grace has bestowed upon her.

She has limits and restrictions, too.  She has days when her body delivers a less-than-kind reminder of those limitations.  On those days she knows that she must retreat for a time, only so that she may charge right back into life and living.

She has come to understand the necessity of balance, the give and take that allows her to continue finding joy in many of her dayst  Har friends and family understand and readily accept that there will be some missed events and some rescheduled plans, thankful that there will be future days spent together.  Each December we celebrate her birthday, and each June we acknowledge the anniversary of the MOAS and the rebirth of the woman who chooses to live.

I watch her, and I smile.  She teaches me how to recover, how to persevere, and how to be stronger than a “weakened” body should allow.  I look to her, and I know that the point of a life is indeed to live it.

This post is dedicated to my friend Liz, whose beautiful and passionate spirit has taught me a thing or two about how to live a life.  Cheers! Karen

Defiance is Your Destiny

Defy the odds.  Defy expectations.  Defy predictions.  Defy suppositions.

Defy limits, boundaries, and borders.

Defy the critics and the detractors.  Defy the cynics and the skeptics.  Defy the naysayers and the nonbelievers.

Defy prejudices, presumptions, and preconceived notions.

Defy ordinary.  Defy normal.  Defy unrealistic.  Defy impractical.

Defy the word can’t.  Defy the word shouldn’t.  Defy the word impossible.  Defy the word no.

Defy the negative self-talk.  Defy the self-doubt.  Defy your own attempts to destroy your self-confidence.

Defy the lines not to be colored outside of.  Defy the box not to be thought outside of.

Defy, that you may find deliverance.  Defy, that you may define yourself.  Defy, that you may find your destiny.

Photo credit:  www.pixabay.com

Trust Me

A few years back we had a plumber come to our home to give us an estimate for work that needed to be done.  He spent a good twenty minutes or so inspecting the area and answering our questions before giving us a price.  After he left my husband asked me what I thought, and I responded that we would not be using him because I did not trust him.  When he asked why I felt that way I told him it was because the man had started at least a dozen sentences with, “To be honest with you…” or some variation thereof.

The Givers and the Doers

I will be attending a fundraiser this afternoon for St. Baldrick’s Foundation, a nonprofit organization that raises money and awareness for childhood cancer.  The event is timely as September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.  Point me in the direction of a legitimate cause concerning kids or animals, and you can count me in!